She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I cut my penus on the lid.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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