ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
