If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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