I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
