this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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