And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
