So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
that's an acceptable place to lick
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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