I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
