also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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