We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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