Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
