sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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