Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I have aggressive nipples.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
