At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
