Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
