i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize