thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
