well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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