I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
