Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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