They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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