He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
where does the pee come out of this thing
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
