He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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