dude i'm inner monologue high
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
