I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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