But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
