so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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