whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
