There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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