don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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