I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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