Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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