just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Randomize
