What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
