he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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