I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
