Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
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