That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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