What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
