Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
