I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
