I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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