Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
