Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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