Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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