I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm getting married
To pizza
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
