Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
