I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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