just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
His nipple licking is glorious
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