I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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