Three words: puerto rican gang bang
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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