ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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