i'm lost and i look like a hooker
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
