I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
