ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
