Where did you get a picture of my penis
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Alive.
So much puke
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
