instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
