No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
