so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
