I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Shame is for Republicans.
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