do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Randomize
