it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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