i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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