your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
