This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
