I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My nipple is on Facebook.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
