Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
please come you make the beer taste better
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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