Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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