No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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