Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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