Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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