so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
